Postcards from the Id

Parents Struggle When Adult Children Struggle

According to this article, recent rersearch notes parents will struggle with their mental health even when their children are adults, if the child is continuing to exhibit problematic behavior.  While parents will report improved mental health functioning if they have an adult child who is successful, such gains are eliminated if even one of their adult children is having a problem, such as legal problems, substance abuse issues, etc.  From the article:

"What this study finds is that the children may have their own lives and moved on, but their ups and downs are still deeply affecting their parents," psychology professor Karen Fingerman, PhD, said August 12 at the 118th Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association. Fingerman, of Purdue University, presented her findings at a symposium focusing on social relationships and well-being.

And:

The researchers then looked at how children's successes and failures affected parents' well-being. Parents who had more than one highly successful child reported better well-being. However, having even one problematic child had a negative impact on their mental health, even if the other children were successful. Simply having at least one successful child was not associated with better well-being. The findings suggest parents react more strongly to their children's failures than their successes, according to Fingerman.

"Having two children suffering problems may be more demanding than having only one child who suffers problems," she said. "By the same token, having a successful child did not buffer the effects of problem-ridden children."

I think you tend to see this a lot, even in literature, movies, etc. (the movie Parenthood popped into mind while reading this).  It seems like no matter how well some of the kids are doing, if one is struggling with something, that is the focus of the parents; not just in terms of problem-solving and assistance, but also emotional investment.  Read the whole thing.

 

More Sleep Decreases Depression in Adolescents

I like this article simply because, like many others I've linked to, it documents the important role adequate sleep plays in the overall functioning of people.  In this case, the researchers examined the rates of depression and suicidal thinking among teens whose bedtimes were set either 10 pm and earlier, or 12 am and later.  The two groups differed in both rates of depression and suicidal thinking, with those sleeping more showing better mood functioning.  From the article:

Lead author James E. Gangwisch, PhD, assistant professor at Columbia University Medical Center in New York, N.Y., said that the results strengthen the argument that short sleep duration could play a role in the etiology of depression.

"Our results are consistent with the theory that inadequate sleep is a risk factor for depression, working with other risk and protective factors through multiple possible causal pathways to the development of this mood disorder," said Gangwisch. "Adequate quality sleep could therefore be a preventative measure against depression and a treatment for depression."

Some other data:

Seven percent of participants (1,050) were found to have depression using the Centers for Epidemiologic Study-Depression Scale, and 13 percent (2,038) reported that they seriously thought about committing suicide during the past 12 months. Depression and suicidal ideation were associated with later parental set bedtime, shorter sleep duration, self-perception of not getting enough sleep, female sex, older age and lower self-perception of how much parents care.

The article does not go into detail regarding whether other variables were controlled, such as whether parents who set earlier bed times (which the article suggested was the primary method ensuring the most sleep) also engaged in other activities that might also reduce the risk of depression.  However, the accumulating data seems pretty clear: better sleep means better functioning.  I don't doubt this applies to teens who typically require more sleep than an adult anyway (nine hours per night is recommended).

What I've encountered more than a few times since becoming a parent are other parents who indicate they've had difficulty getting their kids to adhere to bed time schedules.  These are not adolescents we are talking about; we are talking about kids as young as three or four.  In terms of the other variables I wondered about before, this would be one of them.  If a parent can't instill (for whatever reason) a habit of going to bed at a healthy, reasonable hour when their kids are young, getting an adolescent to comply with bed time rules will be exponentially more difficult.  On the other hand, there may also be variables associated with the compliance on the part of the kids.  Lots of fodder for further research!

Free Comic Book Day!

Free Comic Book Day was yesterday, and I am glad I remembered!  Between soccer games, various errands, and a party to attend later in the evening, it almost slipped my mind.  But I remembered later in the day, and took my oldest to the library on the way to his game.  It has been a lot of fun to not only see his interest in reading explode over the last six months, but to see him enjoy delving into the various genres, including comics.  When we arrived, and he saw he could choose three different comics, the excitement on his face was contagious.  It was also nice that the comics available to pick from were age appropriate (not always easy to find anymore), and that he made his choices with a mind towards his younger brother as well.  I suppose this is one of those little moments that a parent will cherish, and is a much bigger deal to them than they can possibly convey.  Omnivoracious also has a blurb...

"Firsts" as a Parent - Star Wars

Sorry for the extraordinarily low blogging output over the last couple of weeks.  Between having a newborn at home (as well as two other little guys), and work truly ratcheting up a notch (or ten), I simply haven't had time to post.  Work in particular has really escalated in time requirements, as I will be testifying on two cases in the next three weeks.  A blog post or two on the the nature of testifying as an expert witness should be in order, but needless to say preparing for the grilling I am about to receive necessitates I focus more on those cases, and less on my web page!

I did want to briefly comment on one of (in my opinion) the truly great joys of being a parent - the parental "firsts."  As in, the first time you are able to witness your child do a certain activity (such as walking, talking, etc.), or the first time you are able to do something with your child.  The walking and talking stuff is obviously major, but it is also well known; I recently had a "first "with my oldest child, something a bit more subtle and less obvious, but nonetheless a wonderful experience.

My son recently turned seven, and we've always tried to guide him towards movies and television shows that we considered age appropriate (not easy in this day and age!).  Well, I decided being seven years old is old enough for the Star Wars movies, since I was seven when I first saw it, and I didn't come out too badly scarred.  Of course, he was thrilled with the idea, as he not only had been hearing about the films from other kids, but had recently been inundated with advertising and merchandising due to the recent release of the animated Star Wars film.  So, I rented the DVD of the first Star Wars (not chronologically, but the first one made), told him he was old enough, and sat down to watch it with him.

I was a bit afraid this was going to be anticlimactic, as the release of Star Wars in the 1970s was a different animal than watching it today.  When Star Wars first came out, there really hadn't been anything like it - it was truly a new cinematic experience that captured the imagination of a generation.  I've read that the cast and crew of the movie weren't even sure how it was going to perform at the box office.  Nowadays, kids have seen numerous other shows that either owe something to Star Wars, or at least offer entertainment comparable to Star Wars, such that I feared seeing it for the first time wouldn't be special for my son the way it was for me.  Throw in the fact that although I think the special effects of Star Wars have aged fairly well for a movie over 30 years old, today's kids have seen much better.  Nevertheless, we pressed ahead.

Ultimately, I had nothing to worry about.  My son loved, it, talked about with friends the next day, and immediately asked about seeing The Empire Strikes Back.  We had a great time watching it together, especially since any questions he had about the movie could be readily answered by me (when I was a kid, there was no such reference around!).  Of course, he loved the Luke Skywalker character (as most all kids do, until they get older and can truly appreciate Han Solo), and he now revels in having some of the background to the toys he has.  All in all, it was a marvelous experience, and I have no doubt it was enhanced by waiting until he was seven.  My thinking is that in order to appreciate, even on a concrete level, some of the good vs. evil, the concept of the Force (as inconsistent as it is), the complexity of the story, a child needs to be of a certain age/cognitive level.  See it too soon, and they won't "get" much of the story.  But, since they've already seen it, it won't have any sort of special impact when they see it again at seven or eight, even if they understand more of it.  I might be wrong, sure, but at least for my son, I don't think so.

Of course, now we'll watch Empire, as well as Return of the Jedi.  And if I have too, We may even watch the prequels (though I might have to conveniently "deal with an emergency" that will get me out of the room for those).  Overall, though, this was a "first" moment I am extremely fond of, and I'm glad it happened the way it did.  My next film "first," I think, is Raiders of the Lost Ark, but I think I'll hold off on that one until he's 9 or 10; there's even more subtlety and complexity in that film, in addition to melting faces - let's hold off until we are clear of potential nightmares!

We Interrupt This Blog...

Hey all, sorry about the lack of posting, it wasn't supposed to last this long.  First, I was busy at work for a few days.  Next, I simply needed a break for a couple of days.  Then, just when I thought it was safe to come back to the blog, I was stopped dead in my tracks by this guy (eight weeks early, I should add):

Everyone is doing well, but obviously it may be a couple more days before I'm back at it.  BTW,  isn't he the cutest?  When he's smiling, he looks like his Mom; when he's crabby, he definitely looks more like me. 

Mother’s Parenting Style, Child’s Temperament Predict Later Childhood Behavior

The research addressed in this article indicates that how a mother interacts with her child in its first year, as well as the child’s temperament, can predict later conduct issues. Over 1,800 infants were assessed in their first year, both in terms of temperament (activity level, fearfulness, fussiness, general happiness), as well as the mother’s interactive style (intellectual stimulation, responsiveness to needs, style of discipline). Then, the conduct of the child was assessed from the age of 4 through 13. The authors found that temperament and mother’s interaction style were “surprisingly good predictors” of later conduct. From the article:

The researchers looked at how much mothers stimulated their baby intellectually, how responsive they were to the child’s demands, and the use of spanking or physical restraint. Child conduct problems in later childhood included cheating, telling lies, trouble getting on with teachers, being disobedient at home and/or at school, bullying and showing no remorse after misbehaving.

The results indicate that both maternal ratings of their infants' temperament and parenting styles during the first year are surprisingly good predictors of maternal ratings of child conduct problems through age 13 years. Less fussy, more predictable infants, as well as those who were more intellectually stimulated by their mothers in their first year of life, were at low risk of later childhood conduct problems. Early spanking also predicted challenging behavior in Non-Hispanic European American families, but not in Hispanic families.

This doesn’t strike me as earth-shattering news, except to the extent it provides further direction in terms of early intervention. The more findings researchers can unearth pointing to the best ways to raise the healthiest children, the better off we are, especially in terms of education. It would also seem to me that the mother’s role in the research dominates simply because children are still with their mothers far more, especially at a young age. However, I would imagine that fathers and other adults with regular contact would also be able to provide those experiences (such as intellectual stimulation and responsiveness to needs) that improve the health of the child.

Mother’s Behavior Significantly Impacts Father’s Involvement in Raising a Newborn

This article reviews new research indicating that how a mother encourages a father, and how she responds to his efforts, plays a key role in how involved the father will ultimately be in raising the newborn baby. In fact, if the mother’s response to a father’s efforts is judgmental, he will put his own opinions aside regarding the amount of his involvement, in deference to her opinion. Main quote:

In fact, this encouragement was important even after taking into account fathers' and mothers' views about how involved dads should be, the overall quality of the couple's parenting relationship, and how much mothers worked outside the home.

Here’s more:

"Mothers are in the driver's seat," said Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan, co-author of the study and assistant professor of human development and family science at Ohio State University.

"Mothers can be very encouraging to fathers, and open the gate to their involvement in child care, or be very critical, and close the gate.

"This is the first real evidence that mothers, through their behavior, act as gatekeepers by either fostering or curtailing how much fathers take part in caring for their baby."

The article goes on to discuss the implications of this research. First, it apparently has been long suspected that such gate keeping occurs, but had never before been confirmed. What is possibly more important, however, is that although the expectation regarding a negative response to criticism was there, researchers did not expect fathers to respond so much to positive encouragement by the mothers.

There seem to be several implications arising from this research. First, nothing new here, but mothers are seen by both themselves and by the fathers as the primary expert when it comes to child-rearing. However, fathers can and should play a direct, active parenting role. The article even concedes that at least some of the mother’s reinforcement for positive parenting by the father may come as a result of the father showing some initiative. That initiative may not sustain, though, if it is met with frequent criticism. Therefore, communication style becomes very important. Doctors and other professional care-givers can also play an active role in improving this communication, by observing the father engage in certain parenting behaviors (especially at the hospital), and modeling the types of reinforcement that will encourage the father to continue actively parenting.

Oh, and fathers, this doesn’t let you off the hook! Communication is the proverbial two-way street. If you are truly motivated to be an active father, work with your partner to receive the kind of feedback that is most helpful to you. If the criticism is warranted, discuss how it can be phrased. If it’s not warranted, discuss why you think so. The important thing is to not just retreat. Remember, she has just given birth, and is likely stressed for a number of different reasons. Cut her some slack, and discuss with her how you can be the best father you can be.

The Impact of Parenting on a Child's Response to Trauma

On the heels of my post here, this article briefly discusses how important parents are in their children's recovery from trauma.  From the article:

Effective parenting practices provide a protective environment surrounding children and the authors have proposed a framework that draws on positive parenting practices that promote healthy child development.

The goals of parenting following trauma would be to provide structure, security, emotional warmth, and an environment that addresses the traumatic event. Skill encouragement, monitoring, interpersonal problem-solving, and positive involvement would support these goals and enable parents to provide an environment to promote their children's resilience after trauma.

The article is just a brief overview, serving more as a reminder than anything else.  Of course, it speaks to the larger point, which is that the functioning of children is significantly impacted by the parenting they receive in most cases.  When the attitude of the adults involved in the treatment of a child is to "fix the kid," the results will be spotty at best.

Post-Partum Depression Negatively Impacts A Mother's Response to Her Baby

According to this article, new research suggests mothers with post-partum depression tend to respond differently than non-depressed mothers to the cries of their babies, particularly cries suggesting pain.  The response by the mother with post-partum depression to a cry indicating pain involves significantly more anxiety.  This anxiety impairs the mother's ability to soothe the child and cope with the child's distress.  This impairment in the mother's response interrupts the "dance" between the mother and infant.  This might, if prolonged, impact the child's development.  From the article:

"We know that, compared to non-depressed mothers, depressed moms respond less sensitively and more negatively to their infants," says Fleming, a researcher from the University of Toronto (Mississauga). "In this case, their anxiety and their negative feelings could affect their ability to soothe their babies and cope with their distress."

Fleming describes the mother-baby relationship as a dance: baby smiles, mom smiles back; baby vocalizes, mom vocalizes back. Depressed mothers, she has found, have more difficulty interacting with their babies - they don't take part in the dance, as it were.

"They may show little positive affect," she says. "Or they may become agitated and overly - but inappropriately - responsive."

The research, conducted in Canada, notes the cultural and geographic aspects that impact post-partum depression in that country (less connected families, longer winters with more darkness).  It also notes the benefits of addressing behavioral and interpersonal aspects of the depression with this quote:

But the best prescription for post-partum depression, Fleming says, at least in less severe cases, could be as simple as getting out of the house, spending more time with other people and soliciting support from family and friends.

I'm always encouraged when the behavioral and interpersonal aspects of depression are addressed, especially in the context of treatment.  What isn't mentioned in the article is the role a father (as well as other caretakers) can play, both in engaging in "the dance" with the child while the mother addresses her depression, as well as in helping the mother with her treatment.  Having gone through the process of having two children with my wife, even the best doctors have paid only lip service to my role in monitoring my wife's mood for signs of depression, how to help her cope with the difficulties associated with both pregnancy and post-partum issues, or other issues related to this topic (aside from the occasional "And do you have any questions?").  This would seem to me to be an area ripe for psychoeducation, as fathers could be a potentially significant source of support, as well as data for the doctor in assessing how well the mother is functioning.

Use of Game Theory Suggests Parents Stricter with Older Kids

I’ve read a few articles recently where researchers are using various games, market trends, and virtual reality in order to assess human behavior. In this article, the researchers used an economic game theory in order to examine how a parent disciplines their children. The study determined parents are more likely to be stricter with older children (particularly teens) if there are younger children in the house. This is due to a desire to “develop a reputation” with the younger children, or “set an example.” However, the study also found that as time passes, and the younger children reach their teens, the parents typically lose their resolve. There is less of a desire to achieve a “disciplinarian” reputation, particularly since the older children may already have moved out of the house. This will often lead to the youngest children being the biggest risk takers, as they become aware of the tendency to discipline less over time. Statistical data was also examined to bolster the point.

I think this study tends to fall into the “confirming what we already knew” file. Again, not every family will fall into this pattern, but a common refrain one hears from people who were the older children of a family is, “I never got away with what you got away with.” And rarely does the younger family member disagree, at least in my experience. I can also relate to this problem as a parent - it is very difficult to hold to the exact same expectations set up based on age. As just one example, my younger child will end up watching things on television I would not allow my older child to watch until he was older. Guilty as charged. Part of it is the convenience factor, part of it is learning to relax, once you’ve gone through an age bracket with your first child, and you learn what is and isn’t appropriate. Who suffers the most from this process? Not sure. The older child may end up more rigid, structured, and possibly anxious. On the other hand, the younger children don’t get that structure, and may lack self-discipline if the situation was severe. I guess if you’re doing a decent job as a parent most of the time, this other stuff will ultimately be secondary in terms of your child’s development.